What is it like to be on the other side of you?

Have you ever considered what it is like to be on the other side of you? Your body language, words, and tone? Becoming self-aware is not an easy task, especially when we get really honest with ourselves. Learning to hold up the mirror in front of ourselves and be brutally honest with what we see doesn’t come naturally to most people. But it’s important.

What is self-awareness?

There are many similar yet different definitions of what self-awareness is. In general, self-awareness is having clarity about your actions, thoughts, values, words and how you say them, body language, and what you do and do not do well. In addition, self-awareness is also understanding what it is like to be on the other side of you. Remember that angry email you sent that you wish now you could take back? After you realized how it felt for the receiver, you wished you had not sent it and promised yourself to not do it again. You became more self-aware in that moment.

Self-awareness Study

Dr. Tasha Eurich conducted a five-year research program on self-awareness. The results are astounding. Eurich and her team discovered that although 95% of people think they’re self-aware, only 10 to 15% actually are. The study also uncovered several consistent behaviors of un-self-aware individuals:

• They won’t listen to, or accept, critical feedback.
• They cannot empathize with, or take the perspective of, others.
• They have difficulty “reading a room” and tailoring their message to their audience.
• They possess an inflated opinion of their contributions and performance.
• They are hurtful to others without realizing it.
• They take credit for successes and blame others for failures.

Leaders who fail to take time regularly and intentionally to better understand themselves and others are not the leaders who will bring out the best in themselves or their teams. After all, if we don’t know – or are not willing to recognize – our own strengths, weaknesses, and tendencies under pressure, how can we expect to avoid the pitfalls that sabotage our leadership?

How do you become more self-aware?

So where do you start on your journey to become more self-aware? CLG has several self-awareness tools we use to coach people. One of them is called the Leader Mirror. The Leader Mirror prompts you to evaluate yourself in three areas:

• Where are you on the scale of being reactive or proactive?
• Are you leading yourself intentionally or are you being intentional?
• Are you consistent or inconsistent?

Take a few minutes to consider and answer those questions and write down your answers…things look differently in writing than they do in your head. If you want to be brave, talk with someone close to you about your self-awareness revelations.

To take another step in becoming more self-aware, consider asking yourself the questions below along with people close to you:

• Have others given you repeated feedback on something?
• Are there any tendencies you have that people often say bother them?
• What do people ‘joke’ about your habits? What irritates you about yourself?
• What tendencies of yours have caused the most trouble for you in the past?
• If you could ‘magic away’ one of your personality traits, what would it be?

Take Action

We often wrap up our blogs with a call to action to get in touch with us. Doing this goes way beyond making another sell and gaining another client. We are passionate about helping people get unstuck, out of their way, and growing into the best version of themselves. We want to take people on a journey to become leaders worth following. Hop on board with us today. We have the tools and experience to make your journey life-changing for you and everyone around you. Contact us today.

-Melissa Spangler